A Voice

Monday, September 18, 2006

Dave, our drummer with FWJ, sent me this pic of me leading worship about a month ago. He said, "Tell us all what you're thinking while you lead".
What do I think about?

Well, I think it's very appropriate that the cross is right behind me in the picture because I guess I see myself as a worship prompter more than anything. If people say, I really felt like I met with Jesus, I'm happy. All the work on getting the music together, on practicing with the band and on preparing on my own means nothing in comparison with people connecting with God. This does not mean that getting it sounding great doesn't matter to me. Au contraire! God has made me a musician and one who is moved deeply by music, and there's something incredible that happens in my own heart when the text is beautifully or dynamically painted with the music. I believe God gave us music as a gift, to experience him in a special way.

But it's interesting how even (or especially) when things go awry on a Sunday morning (or other times of corporate worship) how God, just because He wants to, works in people's hearts...despite us, despite me. This seemed to happen yesterday. A number of the band members felt down or attacked or just not with it. A number of things went wrong, and frankly, I thought the worship time would flop (I’m just being honest!). But, you know, I had more people letting me know that God really touched their hearts during the worship time yesterday than I’ve heard in a number of months. We prayed that God would make himself very real to people – is it any wonder that he did?

So, what do I think about when I lead worship? Well, first of all, I’m worshipping God and thinking about how the lyrics and music together are describing my creator. I’m thinking about Him! And second, I’m thinking about, or should I say ‘praying for’, all those who have joined me to worship God. I’m praying that people would meet Him in an incredibly real way.

In a nut shell, that’s what I think about.




Here's an addition to my previous entry. I just love the open arms and smiles that the family has!

Thursday, September 14, 2006


Well, it's been a while, but what better time than the present...

So I've been thinking alot about the father in the (incorectly named) story of the prodigal son. You know...the whole story's not focusing on the son but on the father? Anyway, I digress. Frankly, I've had a hard time thinking of fatherhood and God, especially thinking of God as my father. See my parents split when I was 5 and I grew up without a father at home. He was always in the picture, but not always with me. Enter my questions about God being my father. I've had a whole range of them. You say he's always there...what does that look like? Can I see him on the weekends or everyday? Is he someone who is even in the picture regulary? Then Jesus tells me the story about his father and my father...God.

I've been the lost son, the prodigal, going off on my own and demanding to have life my own way...landing in the pig pen. And God has looked down the road in front of the house longing for the day I'd come back.

I love how the Message translation puts it. "When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: 'Father, I've sinned against God, I've sinned before you; I don't deserve to be called your son ever again.' But the father wasn't listening. He was calling to the servants, 'Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We're going to feast! We're going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!' And they began to have a wonderful time (a party!).

WOW...so that's the kind of father God is.

...heart pounding for
...running to
...embracing
...kissing

ME

I love the embrace in the picture at the top. There's no distance between them...just complete forgiveness and acceptance.

I'm going to need to ponder this a little more.
God, I haven't even grasped this in the least. But please help me!